My Advice to My Sister on the Night Before She Wed

“Don’t be so in love with the idea of your marriage that you forget to fight.”

My sister and her fiance ... fighting.

That’s right, fight. Fighting is certainly an exercise in communication (although, granted, perhaps not the most efficient or effective communication). But even more importantly, fighting is an exercise in trust and honesty.

It takes trust to show someone your ugliness, your disappointment, your envy and frustration and annoyance. Just taking the step to reveal this says to your partner: “look, what I’m about to say is going to piss you off. But it’s important and I trust you to handle this message”.

No couple is perfectly aligned. Not every feeling is going to be appreciated. But if you’re afraid to express your feelings honestly because of conflict, then what kind of relationship do you have? If you don’t trust your partner enough to be angry at each other, what does the future hold for you?

So fight! Trust your partner enough to communicate honestly, no matter where the discussion leads. It just might save your marriage.

Plus, I hear that make-up sex is amazing.