Steve’s Rules For Hallowe’en

  • Carving silhouetted pictures into a pumpkin is lame. Pumpkins should be faces.
  • Costumes which place a head on top of your head are not allowed.
  • Costumes which are not really costumes but instead just a big bag of walking product placement are not allowed. If you want to be a Power Ranger, then be one — not a walking billboard for the Power Rangers.
  • If you don’t say trick or treat, you don’t get any candy.
  • If you I ask for a trick and you can’t do a trick, then no candy for you.
  • You must say thank you.
  • If you want people to knock on your door, be clear about it. Lights on, pumpkins lit, the whole nine yards. When we went out with Ruby we hummed and hawed at half a dozen doors.